Thursday, December 31, 2009

What is so good about being married?

1. You sleep with the same person


2. You wake up with the same person


3. You are too busy planning wedding, kids, house, ect to have fun


4. You can't have any variety


5. You are stuck doing the same thing every single day


6. Your personal freedom is limited.


7. You have to make a lot of pointless sacrifices


8. You are always dragged into doing something that you don't want.


9. Fight a lot





I can go on and on. Married life is so freakin depressing.What is so good about being married?
All but # 1and 3 apply in my caseWhat is so good about being married?
If this is your life then I would strongly urge you to get counseling with your husband because that is not what marriage should be. Then if things haven't changed, then it would be time to get out. But don't be so willing to throw it all away because you are feeling this way right now. Everybody goes through lulls, and every day isn't going to be this wild passionate love affair like it was when you were dating. However, there definitley should be more to it than what you've described. Also, remember marriage takes work on both sides and 2 major factors are communication and trust. Without the 2, there really isn't much of a foundation. It's sad but true that once a couple decides to marry they either had such big expectations and then feel disappointed or they begin to take the other for granted. Which is why communication is key. Remember, he can't read your mind anymore than you can read his. Good Luck!
I agree with you marriage has a lot of downs to it, although I believe I would still do it. For one reason, just to know that the same person you fell in love with is strong enough person to stay with you until the end of time and that they want to is amazing. Your life doesn't stop when you get married it reaches a new state. You have someone to try things with you, just be sure to find someone who is willing to do new things and life is so much better when the person you love is beside you.





I think only having one person is great because if there wasn't just one you would end up spending the rest of your life meeting new guys, dumping them, putting up with their crap, and the lies they will tell you. It's a life long cycle of chaos.





Being married can be fun, it just takes some effort and it's not as hectic as it seems, who says you have to have children?


Also it just feels good to know that he/she will be there to hold you when no one else will and at the end you'll be happy with your decision.
Marriage teaches you compassion, persistence, forgiveness, patience, love, tenacity, intimate communication skills, faithfulness and self-control.


If you don't have these going in - you don't have the character to be married and you will soon enough, not be.





This is what we are supposed to be and do as good human beings. Marriage teaches you how to be a good human being. Take a long, hard look at the 50% divorce rate pretty much around the world. What does this tell you about the quality of people that are being raised up?


This is the truth! Look at any of your friends that are separated / divorced and do a quick study of their demise. You will see little of what I listed above.


Also know - that it takes two!
If this is your marriage, then you should be depressed. Marriage offers freedom in ways that being single can't. Yes, both states of matrimony have their ups, but they also have their downs.





Suffice it to say if you chose your partner wisely, being with someone you can depend on, be yourself with is an amazing thing to be part of. Maybe you aren't cut out for marriage. If not, that's ok. Just be honest with yourself and your partner.





If you are bored, you are boring. YOU are responsible for your experiences. Do you think your wife is bored by you, too?





If you guys don't want to talk to each other and LISTEN, go to counseling and work on your marriage, then you need to split up. You aren't doing each other any favors by staying. If you have kids, then you need to do what is best for THEM.





Good luck.
Well, if you think like that,don't get married.


I on the other hand, would not feel complete as a person if I was not married, paying a mortgage and raising children.


Making love to and then waking up beside someone you love is more satisfying than the illusion of sexual freedom you seem to have. I still have fun, ride my bike, go drinking when I want, I do make sacrifices, but they're not pointless and we are working together to create a secure future for ourselves.


I would think that you are young and immature, and probably have seen some bad marriages, but I hope one day you'll find the right person and be as happy as I am.
1. Yes, don't have to worry about training another.


2. Yes, with the one you love, how wonderful.


3. Huh, there is great rewards in having a family, I find!


4. Yes you do if you have an imagination.


5. No not unless you are so boring and lacking in creativity.


6. Really, I have never seen it this way.


7. Not if you are a mature adult you learn compromise


8. Really, only if you are not a mature individual and unwilling and unable to speak honestly and openly.


9. No so!


I think you probably should remain single the rest of your life. I would feel so sorry for anyone you married. You seem no negative and miserable you would make anyone unhappy.





Life is what you make of it. Married or Single.
Sounds like you got married for the wrong reasons. The person that you choose to marry should be the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with and you can't wait to sleep with them everynight and do everything with them. Maybe you should rethink why you are married, b/c for most people it is bliss.
...I don't understand this. It's a great lifestyle,I'm 22,married,happy,and pregnant w/our second child. It doesn't hold true. You look for the person you want to have your life with,and not all of this crap is true. I know that we don't fight like that. We enjoy every waking moment together. It's not really the same thing everyday. We love it. Being married is NOT depressing. It makes more sense to me than going out, f***** every person on the block,and tearing up homes and lives. There's so much here that I totally don't agree with.
1 yes, that's a good thing


2- what's better than waking up every morning next to the person you truly love?


3- wedding was planned in a week, no kids, house is fine and we have tons of fun.


4 - just cuz you're with one person, doesn't mean there's no variety


5- we hardly ever do the same thing every day


6 - we do not limit each others 'freedom' for example, i'm going out with the girls tonight, he's going out With the guys


7 - no sacrifice is pointless


8 -like what?


9 - really, not that much fighting...
well then maybe you shouldnt be married. I love sleeping with my husbday every night. i wouldnt be able to sleep without him. And i love waking up and seeing his face every morning. I had a cheap wedding and loved every minute of it! I dont do the same thing every day. my husband and i both have our own freedom because we trust each other enough to give each other freedom. sacrifices happen in a marriage. It has to to help the marriage work. and if you fight a lot then like i said maybe you shouldnt be married/
No, that isn't marriage...that's a poor relationship.





A marriage is when you have someone that





1. Always has your back


2. You can always be silly with


3. Knows everything about you


4. Knows how to make your toes curl


5. Is always there when you feel lonely or need to talk


6. Shares your burdens


7. Makes you smile and feel grateful for them


8. Compromises


9. Gives you great legal benefits


10. Shares their money


11. Keeps you warm...





I could go on and on about how marriages are great...when you have the right person.
Yes, i agree. The list can become endless. Its always easy to find what we want to find.


Instead, marriage gives something which could never be purchased, borrowed or stolen.


Marriage is connection of two souls. Its something beyond physical connections what has been listed. Marriage teaches both the sides to have adaptability, patience, sacrifice, empathy, concerns. And above all it gives you chance to CHANGE (change for Good).


By giving away something, you will get much more.


And when you are alone in your life, marriage brings in the real support - emotional.............
Ooooohhhhhh my yes......She feels so perfect against you...No. 2 Thank ALL the stars she is more than a dream and is here to hold in the morning....No.3 You ALWAYS find a way to make it fun....No.4 You get a chance to use your imagination to keep things good. No.5 And a chance to do it even better. No.6 Free to give No.7 blah, blah, blah.....No.8 You can always be counted on No.9 Why ???
鈾モ櫏鈾モ櫏鈾モ櫏鈾?br>

No wonder your 16 year old talks to you in riddles. If you have this much disrespect for the institution of marriage, I can only imagine what kind of example you're being to him as a good father and husband.





Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives


http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Ten-Stu鈥?/a>





And your son's.
well i am so so sorry you feel that way but marriage is a great thing and it has tons and tons of perks to it!


when your married you have stability, emotional support and a commitment which is awesome!
It really depends on how you look at it, most people are looking for that someone special to spend their lives together do you really want to be alone
You haven't met the right person yet, when you do, it will all make sense.
You dont have to worry bout getting an STD !!!!
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  • Are you an American engaged or married to a foreigner?

    I have a great relationship with a man from another country (Indonesia) but his work visa is almost up and he has to go back to his home country for 6 months or more. Has your spouse ever had to leave the country? How did you help him/her to come back to the States?Are you an American engaged or married to a foreigner?
    im a canadian engaged to an american, if you two are engaged to get married fill out a K-1 Fiance Visa to get him back into the country, the process right now takes about 8-12 months to attain and after you get the visa you have to marry within 90 days


    so that gives him the 6 months to go ack to his coutry, and as soon as you attain the visa he can come back





    good luck


    ella

    Can I file bankrupcy in California as a single person although I am married?

    Married but want to file bankrupcy for myself and not include my husband. Is this possible? Will all the debt be left on him? Can I file chapter 7 if I am married with a job?Can I file bankrupcy in California as a single person although I am married?
    You can file individual bankruptcy even if you are married; you do have to indicate that you are married in the paperwork you file with the court. Your husband does not have to file with you. Be warned that if you have any joint debt, he will still be liable on it if you file - a bankruptcy discharge is personal. Your personal liability on the debt is wiped out. The debt remains, and anyone else liable on the debt will remain liable.





    You can file a Chapter 7 if you're employed, but your husband's income will also be considered in calculating the means test, which is the average of the last six months of income for your household compared to the IRS standard for the household size in your county.





    Consult with a bankruptcy attorney.Can I file bankrupcy in California as a single person although I am married?
    It will depend on whether the debts you plan to file were incurred before or during the marriage. Anything incurred during the marriage that you include in bankruptcy will now become his debt to pay.

    At what age did you fall in love with you partner and got married?

    I think i might be in love im only 17 and turning 18. She says im the one for her , i really love her for who she is. But tinkin about it, its a bit scary so im going with the flow atm. But at wot age did u fall in love with the person you loved and eventually married them?


    Think its possible between us?At what age did you fall in love with you partner and got married?
    Fell in love at 32. Married at 35. But I have friends that fell in love when they were 14 %26amp; 15. They married when they were 23 %26amp; 24. And they're still together with 2 gorgeous girls after 14yrs of marriage.





    Pretty cool, huh? Keep the lines of communication open %26amp; make time for each other. It is possible.At what age did you fall in love with you partner and got married?
    Fell in love with my first wife when I was 19, she was 22. We got married five years later, and it lasted for ten years before we divorced.





    Love is always possible, and is the preferred choice. IMO...what is more important than being in love is respecting the feelings of love that exist between you two.


    Love is like living in an apartment with no windows and no weather report. The only way you will know what the weather will be like is on your way to work, and if you have to go back in to get your umbrella or something, you may be late.


    Everyone knows if you're late too many times, you will be out of a job.
    Fell in love with partner when we were like 15 (puppy love) that turned into real love, got married at age 20- we are both 23 and SSSOOO happy. My parents were high school sweethearts too- started to date when until they were 18- got married in 1973 and had been together until my dad died in 2007.
    I was 17. He was 18. Dated for almost 5 years and married for 13. :-) Yes...it's possible.
    you need to wait to make sure things don't change be a little more mature and have your life straight before you get married i got married at 16 and it ended horribly
    Fell in love when i was 18 got married when i was 19- almost twenty. he was 22.
    I was 16 when I fell in love and we got married when I was 19

    What do i need to get married in the courthouse in killeen tx?

    like do i need can i have a copy of the birth certificate if needed, mother or fathers death certificate, or social security card??? Also does it change if we are both army?What do i need to get married in the courthouse in killeen tx?
    ID Requirement: Certified copy of birth certificate; or valid driver's license or other acceptable I.D. issued by the state, another state, the United States, or a foreign government.





    鈥? Either bring your Social Security card or know your Social Security number.





    鈥? If you want to use your maiden name on the license bring a certified copy of your birth certificate or a certified copy of your divorce decree that states name is to be changed to maiden name.





    Residency Requirement: Do not have to be a resident of Texas.





    If previously married: If your divorce was finalized within 30 days, bring certified copy of the divorce decree stating the 30 day waiting period is waived.





    Application Requirement: Both parties must appear, together or separately, to apply. (Portions of the application process may be completed by absentee application if one party is unable to appear in person).





    Fees: $36+ - Cash Only.





    Waiting Period: Marriage licenses have a 72 hour waiting period -- unless waived due to active duty military status.





    Blood Tests: No blood test requirement.





    Under 18: If either party is under the age of 18, they must be accompanied by parents.





    鈥? If under the age of 16, Tennessee law requires that the couple receives a court order before being allowed to marry.





    Proxy Marriages: Yes.





    Common Law Marriage: No.





    Cousin Marriage: No.





    Same Sex Marriage: No.





    Officiants: All regular ministers of the gospel of every denomination, and Jewish rabbis, more than 18 years of age, having the care of souls may perform marriages. Ministers must endorse the marriage license and return it to the clerk of the county court within three days after the marriage.





    Valid: License is valid for 30 days.


    The license can only be used within the State of Texas.





    Please Note: As of September 1995 Texas Law requires that a notorized statement pertaining to child support be submitted by all marriage license applicants. This form may be obtained at the same time you apply for your marriage license. It must be signed and completed in the presence of two witnesses and a notary public. No applications can be processed without the proper submission of this statement.





    Miscellaneous: State and county marriage license requirements often change. The above information is for guidance only and should not be regarded as legal advice.





    It is important that you verify all information with your local marriage license office or county clerk before making any wedding or travel plans.

    Who else feels if Vince Mcmahon had a second daughter she would be married to John Cena.?

    I dont care what anyone says he had a hand in Stephanie and Triple H getting together, you think if he didnt have a second daughter she would not be with Cena.Who else feels if Vince Mcmahon had a second daughter she would be married to John Cena.?
    May be.As for now there are more stronger superstars than Cena So Vincent will not take Cena in the 1st position.Who else feels if Vince Mcmahon had a second daughter she would be married to John Cena.?
    what if stephanie was married to cena instead of triple h
    hahaha this question cracked me up!
    nope she would be with John Morrison or Randy Orton
    if stephanie had a twin maybe

    Monday, December 28, 2009

    What is it like to be married to a Police Officer?

    Please let me know if you are a spouse or if not, then how your point of view comes into play in regards to your answer. Thank you.What is it like to be married to a Police Officer?
    The officer will be gone a lot--sometimes at the last minute if something 'big' happens before the end of their shift or if the next shift is short-handed; they could out on what can be dangerous calls--robberies or hostage situations where others involved may be armed; not all officers have partners so they could be alone if they get into a bad situation. Be prepared to spend some lonely times or have them miss family celebrations (birthdays, anniversaries, kids plays, etc). They deal with a lot of stress in their jobs and frequently have no way to release the stress. Law enforcement personnel have the highest domestic abuse, divorce and alcoholic rates than any other working percentage.





    I am not the spouse of a police officer but I've worked at a police station and one of my friends is married to an officer. I've been with her when she's been afraid for his safety, when fellow officers have been shot (surviving their injuries) and when fellow officers have died in the line of duty.What is it like to be married to a Police Officer?
    I am not married to one but I know the statistics say that those marriages are more likely to have domestic violence and other problems caused by stress. I'm sure there are some good marriages but I think you need to know the risks and both be working to make sure that respect and safety are maintained in the marriage.
    I am not a wife of an officer.But I have heard that cops seem to grow to big of an ego,and some can be very abusive.Needing to be in control of all that evolves around them.But I'm sure there are super good husbands that take the job with the compassion that it's suppose to have,and not about power trips.There for make wonderful spouses.
    he will be gone a lot, and in a lot of danger. It can be lonesome.
    I don't know but it sounds like sex would be real good. LOL. a guy in uniform, YIKES.
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  • Is it disrespectful to ask a married woman for her phone # in front of her husband?

    I asked a married woman for her phone # after she told me in her marriage they are cool with having friends. I did it in front of her husband %26amp; he did not even care, he smiled, is this abnormal? Is it disrespectful to ask a married woman for her phone # in front of her husband?
    If they have an open marriage then it's not a problem.


    If it were a problem he'd have beat your a$$.Is it disrespectful to ask a married woman for her phone # in front of her husband?
    yeah, maybe. i mean, normally older people don't have friends. i mean, that's blunt, but it's true. they may have people they know and talk to, but...that's pretty much it. he was smiling, but he probably wanted to kill you.
    sounds sick...





    help plz...





    http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmRgbkR5XIQwTqVOfqRbQAnrDxV.;_ylv=3?qid=20081130232702AAZG1Ce
    That sounds a little sketchy on paper but i guess every relationship is different!
    let me just say sweetheart you may have crossed the line...


    dont be surprised if the husband pulls a restraining order out on you
    You should address the phone number to both of them, so it's not awkward.
    Everyone is different!!! This behavior is not for me though and X
    He is very trusting, that's for sure o.O
    you SICK freak!








    jk





    unless if it's business purpose its ok..
    must be swingers, was he looking at your junk
    it's not usual, no.
    well were u trying to hit on her?


    either hes REALLY secure with his woman or they are weird
    ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm depends on why you want the number
    wierd

    Married people: did you tell you were with the love of your life during dating or only when marriage discussed?

    This applies to engaged people too! For example was being in the relationship stage no different than when things were good in other relationships or could you tell all along it was different, like they were 'marriage material'?Married people: did you tell you were with the love of your life during dating or only when marriage discussed?
    The key is to first know who you are and be comfortable with self. Then you need to know what things you need and desire in a relationship. You compare those things with what you see in the person you are sizing up. Nobody should enter marriage thinking that they can change their spouse.Married people: did you tell you were with the love of your life during dating or only when marriage discussed?
    I didn't have much in the way of previous relationships for comparison, but I didn't really think that my fiance was ';marriage material'; in the beginning. In fact, I thought we'd never work out long-term or that we'd make a good couple and so I pushed him away a lot in the beginning (I didn't want to date at first -- just wanted to stay friends...and then, when after several years, we got together I tried to keep things casual and non-committed...) But eventually he wore down my resistance and I had to admit that I wanted to be with him forever.

    What were the children called when a married white colonist had children with a slave?

    And who won Project Runway?What were the children called when a married white colonist had children with a slave?
    Mulatto might be the term you're looking for but I'm not sure.What were the children called when a married white colonist had children with a slave?
    High-Yellow is the term you are looking for. Don't forget my ten points!

    I am a pregnant Canadian who is married to a Cuban - any way to get him here faster with immigraton?

    I have already been approved as a sponsor in Canada and now it has been in the hands of the Canadian embassy in Havana since September 2005. I am terrified to be alone and pregnant. We were married last summer and I need him here with me. He is my love of my life and I have never met someone so wonderful in my entire life...Any suggestions?I am a pregnant Canadian who is married to a Cuban - any way to get him here faster with immigraton?
    You ever think of moving to Cuba ?

    How much does it cost to get married in city hall, in Chicago IL?

    My boyfriend and me want to get married and Im not sure how to look up how much it would be to get married at city hall... anyone know?How much does it cost to get married in city hall, in Chicago IL?
    It's $17 for everything. I work there. Good luck.How much does it cost to get married in city hall, in Chicago IL?
    you can find the answer in the website below...hope it helped...good luck!

    Saturday, December 26, 2009

    How much should I spend on a house if I make 750k/year?Single,not married,no kids?

    Is $1.4 million too much?My total monthly expenses are $6,500.I have a excellent credit score.How much should I spend on a house if I make 750k/year?Single,not married,no kids?
    1.4 million is not too much for that income. However, before you purchase, I would make sure that you have at least 8-months of living expenses in your savings (in addition to your down payment). For your living expenses that would be: $52,000 + whatever your mortgage payments would be each month (probably an additional $80,000). If you lost your job, you would have to insure that you would be able to afford all of your expenses and mortgage. In that price range it would be a lot harder than a $100,000 home. Obviously it is much more difficult to come up with $10,000 mortgage payment than a $700 mortgage payment. Good luck! Make sure you have your $280,000 down payment + at least $132,000 in an emergency fund.How much should I spend on a house if I make 750k/year?Single,not married,no kids?
    If you have no children and you are not married, y are you buying a home that cost you so much money. Buy what you need with a little of what you want sprinkled in there. You can get a great sized home, not a house, for cheaper that will fit you personality and needs. That way you are not spending your life savings on a house. I wish you the best of blessings in this step of your life and congrats.
    You could afford $1.4, but would still have a fair sized mortgage. If I were you, I would buy around the $700,000 - $900,000 range (assuming a 30% down payment can be made) and pay off the small mortgage in 2 years. Then, by the time you get married/find a new place/switch careers, the house will have appreciated in value and you'll have no debt or lien to worry about
    Marry me.
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  • How would a woman treat another female she's interested in if she's married and bicurious?

    The other female is quite a bit younger and in a lower position.How would a woman treat another female she's interested in if she's married and bicurious?
    Tanya R. : You can shut the f*** up and get out of this forum if you don't like who people are. Grow up.





    Back to the question...If I were you I wouldn't really do anything in this situation, she is married... Sorry=/How would a woman treat another female she's interested in if she's married and bicurious?
    Let me tell you something. There are a lot of things wrong with the world, and you can count on that. You can sit back and watch the world crumble, but there are still going to be people that want to drag you down because of what you feel. If you have feelings for a girl, and you are married, and bi-curious. Talk to her, or talk to your husband about it. If your just bi-curious, your husband might be interested in helping you out with that. But if you actually have true feelings, and you are thinking of swaying the other way without his knowledge, talk to her about it. Maybe you can work it out, but you need to work out what's in your head before you make any rash decisions. You aren't a freak, it's normal. It's normal for everyone including church goers and bible pushers. No one can lie. If you have an ounce of sexualality in your body, you've thought about it. Figure out what you want and don't hurt anyone in the course of your actions. Good luck!
    WTF


    GIRLS SHOULD LIKE GUYS


    and


    GUYS SHOULD LIKE GIRLS





    WHAT THE FU*K IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?
    Tell her to give you a call after she gets divorced -

    Anybody with runaway wedding and had successfull married life?

    Mine is a runaway marriage as parents were not agreeing.We tried but in vain. I wanted to know if other couples out there doen it too and since there is NO Support from either parents , have any of these couples had a successful marriage? If any problems occured between husband and wife , how they tackled? I am not just curious but seriosuly wanna know for my marriage.serious replies Only !Anybody with runaway wedding and had successfull married life?
    I know a couple who did that and they are both very intelligent people and they had no issues between each other.Anybody with runaway wedding and had successfull married life?
    i am a 25 year old girl and i ran away last year and married a 40 year old guy my family almost disowned me,but everything was great between me and my husband, at first...then things started to get kinda crazy my family didnt want him around at gatherings so i fought with them and then in return i would fight with him because i would go and he couldn't then he started to get out of control with his jealousy and his trying to control me.he doesnt want me to hang out with any of my friends,he throws a fit when i want to go see my sis that lives 2 hours away he only wants me to go with him to his family's houses, his daughter disrespects me and he does NOTHING! about it,we will only have been married a year and i have been seriously thinking if i need to end it...i am not saying this will happen to u because it may not its totally romantic when u think about it..running away,getting maried,but just MAKE SURE you really know each other and u know exactly what will happen after u do it, before you do this! that was my problem i only knew my husband for 2 months before i married him and i was totally nieve to all these problems i am having now,i didnt think it was a possibility,boy i was wrong, what u r gonna to do is hard, marriage is hard n e way without the added stress of running away and then having to deal with your family and possibly his family having hard feelings against u and causing problems out of sheer hurt,. but I wish u all the luck in the world and i hope everything works out with yall!
    Talk to each other


    Talk with really good friends


    Talk to a counselor





    You need to depend on yourselves. The marriage is for two.
    we didnt exactly ';run away'; but it was definately behind their backs!!!- married for 4, together for 8!!!!!

    How to do address a wedding invitation to a woman clergy member who is married?

    Should it be:


    Reverend and Mr. John Doe?


    Reverend Jane and Mr. John Doe?


    Other ideas???How to do address a wedding invitation to a woman clergy member who is married?
    Normally, the husband's name comes first. However, there is an exception for when a woman has an occupational title (i.e. Doctor, Reverend, Lieutenant, etc.) and her husband does not have such a title. In this instance, the woman's name will proceed the man's.





    For example:


    The Reverend Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe





    (or if she kept her maiden name)


    The Reverend Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith








    -How to do address a wedding invitation to a woman clergy member who is married?
    The husbands name goes first on invitations so it would be;


    Mr. John and Reverend Jane Doe
    Mr. John and Reverend Jane Doe





    or if she uses her maiden name





    Mr. John Doe and Reverend Jane Roe.





    the husband's name goes first, the wife's name goes second. If either of them has a title then you use the title instead of Mr or Mrs
    Reverend Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe is most common, but your second of Reverend Jane and Mr. John Doe is perfectly ok as well.





    Some people still stuck in the past will say that you always list the man's name first, but you can equally be correct and list the person YOU KNOW first. If you don't know Reverend Jane, then choose Mr. John first.
    Mr %26amp; Mrs John Doe. If you were addressing her only, it would be either Reverend Jane or Mrs Reverend Jane. How you have it listed is awkward since the man's name is listed first and there isn't any way to distinguish that she is clergy while he isn't.

    Do you think it is common for married men to save images of naked women on their computer?

    My husband did this for four years without my knowledge. If you do this, why and when/how often do you look at these?Do you think it is common for married men to save images of naked women on their computer?
    I don't do that, but what's wrong with it? Most people look at porn, and the retrieval speed is just faster if you save it on your hard drive rather than try to navigate to your favorite pictures on the internet every time you want to look at them. Is your problem that you're concerned about disk space? You can get an external hard drive with huge capacity for cheap these days. So, I think you should stop worrying about it.Do you think it is common for married men to save images of naked women on their computer?
    Ooh, that's a nice surprise. Common? Yes, extremely. Probably approaching 100% of adult men have looked at ';pron';, and probably most men continue viewing it at least occasionally.





    What does it mean for your relationship? Hard to say, I don't know enough about you. However, I do know his owning these pictures does not mean that he doesn't love you. If you guys otherwise have a good relationship I would try to come to some mutually agreeable arrangement about when he uses them, like not unless you're not around, or with the agreement that he'll tell you when he uses it if you ask. I would not try to make him stop looking at it because I think that's an exercise in futility and more likely to make him angry and not change anything.





    Edit: After reading some other answers--no, he's not cheating on you, and he's not doing this because you are somehow inadequate for him. He has no relationship or emotional attachment with these women, and probably isn't looking for one. As far as adequacy, he's probably looking at these pictures late at night when you're asleep and he wants some stress relief before going to sleep. Just because a man gets a midnight snack doesn't mean that his wife doesn't cook a good meal!
    This could be addiction and should be treated as one, not as him having something against you. Most men are very insecure and fear rejection. Images can't reject him so this is pleasurable to him. Think of it like smoking. Everytime he looks at or saves a picture he gets pleasure out of it. Who doesn't like to feel pleasure? Overtime, the same picture doesn't give him the same amount of pleasure so he needs more and more. How do you break this? Make him feel pain. I don't mean in a physical way, but have him become disgusted by it. How can be very hard. But just like smoking, you need to find something else that brings him pleasure that will take the place of these pictures. Otherwise those pictures will evolve into videos, and from there who knows.





    Is it normal? Of course it is. If we didn't enjoy it, I don't think we would do it. But it is also normal not to do it because if you link pain to having pictures, for example going to hell (religion), chances are you won't have pictures because you believe that it is wrong.





    Maybe you should talk to him and find out why he enjoys it or if there is something you could have him do to replace or change this behavor.





    Good luck.
    Unfortunately lots of men experiment online through porn, sex sites, chats and so on. So I wouldn't say it is uncommon. I however would say that it is no right, or desirable. If you and your husband have not had the 'what condones cheating' conversation covering this topic technically he is not doing wrong. Sorry to say it but it is true. That does not get him off the hook though. You need to confront him and ask him why he does this or what he uses it for. Let him know how it makes you feel. If you are okay with pornography then maybe you need to just draw the line for him. This also allows him to feel less ashamed of his behaviour, if you condone it.





    Awkward conversation I know, but communication is the key to resolving these types of issues. Good luck.
    Women they know- no


    Pornographic pictures- yes





    I think it is normal for men and women to look at other people, even pornography. As long as it is not effecting the relationship I do not see much of a problem with it. However if these were women he knows personally I would seriously question how they got there and what he was doing with them.
    Men want sex nearly all the time. With it being so easy to look at women on the internet, many men do this frequently. In my opinion, this is much better than having sex with a woman outside of marriage, because the woman is not real (for the man with the computer). If that is all he does, I would not be too worried.
    It's not common for me to do. In fact I don't do it at all. I have looked at a co-workers Playboy issue though if that counts. I didn't go goo goo eyes over the pics tho. I love my Fiance' and don't need any pics on my computer to look at. I am sure there are thousands of men who do however. Maybe they don't ';need'; them but they have them. Why? Because men like to look at pretty shaped naked women. I don't know if there is a prettier object to look at than a beautiful woman. Not perverted, just natural hormones I guess. I feel it would be close to cheating if I kept pics of women on my comp. I don't cheat. As far as how often, I guess very often these men look at their pics. I really don't know. That's all I got for you.
    Yes I Do, Men Enjoy Looking At Naked Women, Do You Ever Put On A Show For Your Man, Do You Wear Skimpy Underwear Stickily For His Viewing, Do You Take The Time To Make Him Feel Necessary, Would You Ever Ask Him What He Desires And Then Give It To Him. If Not, Reconsider The Reason For Asking Such a Question, Men Enjoy Sex, And If Their Wives Or Girlfriends Fail To Please Their Man, They Shouldn't Complain When Their Man Looks In Another Direction.
    OK, a story first.





    In ancient times (1983), computer drives had a small capacity.





    MS-DOS would stop in the middle of a file save. It would say ';Disk Full.';





    There was no more room for anything on the drive. Everything stopped working. So people started paying attention to how much drive was left after doing stuff.





    ';when/how often do you look at these?';





    The answer you need is to the question at the end of the story.





    You paid no attention to your guy's feelings. Period. You don't know if putting those images into his head filled out his capacity for love and caring. That's the main problem.





    Guy goes for four years doing porn. You have so little connection with him you have to find out about it from a Microsoft product. The pictures aren't the issue here. It's trust. He can't trust you. You don't care that he can't. You only care what's on a stupid computer. Sounds consistent.





    Those pictures might mean almost nothing to him. If you were close to him, that's how you would of reacted to them.





    Those pictures might mean he has a bad problem. If you were close to him, you'd get help together.





    But you lived with him for those four years.





    And you don't know. That's a bigger sin than the porn. Yeah, sin. He might a been struggling with guilt and sliding into addiction while you worried about a wall color. Didn't even talk about what his feelings have been over four years, his challenges, his losses. Might be taking refuge in porn like a springtime gazebo with iced tea. Might just be he can't talk to you. Porn and strip clubs are a guy's way of having human connection. Lousy thing, but it might be that. That would be the worst thing if he just couldn't talk with you and porn kept him from feeling lonely.





    Start at a mirror, not at the computer. Look in that mirror. Make a decision that your man is worth the work to get through to him. Then start. Won't happen overnight. Might take four years.





    You need to be able to say to that mirror ';My husband did this...'; and I know for sure if it makes a difference to our marriage.





    I sense you've got the love to do this. Sorry for the harsh words. But you've got to get started on it.
    Common? Probably. My ex-husband did this. Collected LOADS of photos and videos too. Most of his friends did the same thing. Does this make it right or okay? No, especially if the wife is getting hurt by it. This often leads to other behaviors such as strip clubs, phone sex, etc. It did in my ex's case. Granted, he was an absolute pig. Total sexual addiction. You'll notice I said ';ex'; husband above; he ended up sleeping with a stripper. Good luck! :)
    I dont belive its right but its not uncommon.


    Many men do this and i dont agree with this at all.


    I mean, if he saves these photos what is to say that he does not speak to these women online and try to meet up.


    Its all great until he gets tired of pictures and wants to meet up with the real thing. This is not right.
    I look from time-to-time but I don't save pictures to the drive. I might if the computer was mine exclusively but I prefer browsing the whole store before finding something to buy... if you know what I mean. Tell him it's your computer too and to stop saving pictures to it or get his own computer. He won't stop looking.
    Yep, Everyday.


    1. If i was getting it as often as I WANTED- no point


    2. The female body is the most beautiful thing the God made TO ME


    3. Some people like cars,flowers and sunsets. I admire the female body


    4. Skinny chicks scare me and obese chicks well - wtf


    it's just pleasant to see the curves and think of the soft skin that i'm yearning for for.
    Yes, it's common, but wrong!


    Any guy who does that is disrespectful to his partner, and it usually leads to much worse things.


    If your not enough for him, then you two just aren't right for each other.
    We whack it to porn because our sex drives are sometimes ten to thirty times more aggressive than yours.


    How many times are you going to reject him before you think he's going to give up and go do something else?
    No it is not. Out of respect for the marriage he should not do it.
    he shouldn't save the pictures to his computer. Bookmark the page, but dont save the images to the PC.
    no no its lust and Do you have God in your heart? if you do


    pray for him for his addiction- it becomes just like a drug-


    he needs help....


    Read him Corinthians 7
    Hades No! That is called emotional cheating. If you can't turn him on then no other women should naked or other wise. Pray to your God and ask he or she to remove the spirit away from him.
    If my husband did that,he will hear it.I will give him hell till it changes.
    It is as normal as breathing and he probably looks at them every day.
    Are they of you? If they are, it's fine, if they're not, you have a problem.
    Should I get rid of your naked picture Sharni?...I really like it...
    I think it is common, but i don't believe it to be morally right
    As long as its just porn and nobody he knows.
    I hope not!! Thats terrible!!!
    no...its not...how good is it to behave a jerk even after getting married?u seem to make it sound normal but its gross

    How could a only child of a single parent (till she was 9) get married and not include her mom?

    Only child, only daughter, wedding plans were ';sort of'; set for next spring in Key West and she decided to get married in North Carolina on vacation. She didn't tell me for 5 days afterward and is now sad because she made me sad. What did she expect me to feel?How could a only child of a single parent (till she was 9) get married and not include her mom?
    A lot of people end up just eloping because they don't want to deal with the hassle and stress that a wedding causes. I have an uncle that did the same thing. Him and his gf went to N.C. for a vacation came back home to MO ten days later and were married. She probably didn't think you would be as sad and upset as you were. She was probably thinking this was a way not to deal with the stress and hassle but still be able to get married, and in a place she obviously enjoyed, and maybe even that it would be an interesting story for her kids someday. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you or she wouldn't be sad that it did.How could a only child of a single parent (till she was 9) get married and not include her mom?
    What is done is done. I would suggest have a nice reception for her and make it as special as a wedding (flowers, dresses, etc). That way most of the typical wedding day stress isn't there and you can all just sit back and enjoy. Everyone can dress up and dance the night away.
    mom, it was your daughters wedding day you should be happy/supportive with whatever decisions she made/makes to celebrate it her way only child or not
    I think she was being selfish not thinking of the consequences of how it would make others feel.
    Maybe she has pictures?