My husband did this for four years without my knowledge. If you do this, why and when/how often do you look at these?Do you think it is common for married men to save images of naked women on their computer?
I don't do that, but what's wrong with it? Most people look at porn, and the retrieval speed is just faster if you save it on your hard drive rather than try to navigate to your favorite pictures on the internet every time you want to look at them. Is your problem that you're concerned about disk space? You can get an external hard drive with huge capacity for cheap these days. So, I think you should stop worrying about it.Do you think it is common for married men to save images of naked women on their computer?
Ooh, that's a nice surprise. Common? Yes, extremely. Probably approaching 100% of adult men have looked at ';pron';, and probably most men continue viewing it at least occasionally.
What does it mean for your relationship? Hard to say, I don't know enough about you. However, I do know his owning these pictures does not mean that he doesn't love you. If you guys otherwise have a good relationship I would try to come to some mutually agreeable arrangement about when he uses them, like not unless you're not around, or with the agreement that he'll tell you when he uses it if you ask. I would not try to make him stop looking at it because I think that's an exercise in futility and more likely to make him angry and not change anything.
Edit: After reading some other answers--no, he's not cheating on you, and he's not doing this because you are somehow inadequate for him. He has no relationship or emotional attachment with these women, and probably isn't looking for one. As far as adequacy, he's probably looking at these pictures late at night when you're asleep and he wants some stress relief before going to sleep. Just because a man gets a midnight snack doesn't mean that his wife doesn't cook a good meal!
This could be addiction and should be treated as one, not as him having something against you. Most men are very insecure and fear rejection. Images can't reject him so this is pleasurable to him. Think of it like smoking. Everytime he looks at or saves a picture he gets pleasure out of it. Who doesn't like to feel pleasure? Overtime, the same picture doesn't give him the same amount of pleasure so he needs more and more. How do you break this? Make him feel pain. I don't mean in a physical way, but have him become disgusted by it. How can be very hard. But just like smoking, you need to find something else that brings him pleasure that will take the place of these pictures. Otherwise those pictures will evolve into videos, and from there who knows.
Is it normal? Of course it is. If we didn't enjoy it, I don't think we would do it. But it is also normal not to do it because if you link pain to having pictures, for example going to hell (religion), chances are you won't have pictures because you believe that it is wrong.
Maybe you should talk to him and find out why he enjoys it or if there is something you could have him do to replace or change this behavor.
Good luck.
Unfortunately lots of men experiment online through porn, sex sites, chats and so on. So I wouldn't say it is uncommon. I however would say that it is no right, or desirable. If you and your husband have not had the 'what condones cheating' conversation covering this topic technically he is not doing wrong. Sorry to say it but it is true. That does not get him off the hook though. You need to confront him and ask him why he does this or what he uses it for. Let him know how it makes you feel. If you are okay with pornography then maybe you need to just draw the line for him. This also allows him to feel less ashamed of his behaviour, if you condone it.
Awkward conversation I know, but communication is the key to resolving these types of issues. Good luck.
Women they know- no
Pornographic pictures- yes
I think it is normal for men and women to look at other people, even pornography. As long as it is not effecting the relationship I do not see much of a problem with it. However if these were women he knows personally I would seriously question how they got there and what he was doing with them.
Men want sex nearly all the time. With it being so easy to look at women on the internet, many men do this frequently. In my opinion, this is much better than having sex with a woman outside of marriage, because the woman is not real (for the man with the computer). If that is all he does, I would not be too worried.
It's not common for me to do. In fact I don't do it at all. I have looked at a co-workers Playboy issue though if that counts. I didn't go goo goo eyes over the pics tho. I love my Fiance' and don't need any pics on my computer to look at. I am sure there are thousands of men who do however. Maybe they don't ';need'; them but they have them. Why? Because men like to look at pretty shaped naked women. I don't know if there is a prettier object to look at than a beautiful woman. Not perverted, just natural hormones I guess. I feel it would be close to cheating if I kept pics of women on my comp. I don't cheat. As far as how often, I guess very often these men look at their pics. I really don't know. That's all I got for you.
Yes I Do, Men Enjoy Looking At Naked Women, Do You Ever Put On A Show For Your Man, Do You Wear Skimpy Underwear Stickily For His Viewing, Do You Take The Time To Make Him Feel Necessary, Would You Ever Ask Him What He Desires And Then Give It To Him. If Not, Reconsider The Reason For Asking Such a Question, Men Enjoy Sex, And If Their Wives Or Girlfriends Fail To Please Their Man, They Shouldn't Complain When Their Man Looks In Another Direction.
OK, a story first.
In ancient times (1983), computer drives had a small capacity.
MS-DOS would stop in the middle of a file save. It would say ';Disk Full.';
There was no more room for anything on the drive. Everything stopped working. So people started paying attention to how much drive was left after doing stuff.
';when/how often do you look at these?';
The answer you need is to the question at the end of the story.
You paid no attention to your guy's feelings. Period. You don't know if putting those images into his head filled out his capacity for love and caring. That's the main problem.
Guy goes for four years doing porn. You have so little connection with him you have to find out about it from a Microsoft product. The pictures aren't the issue here. It's trust. He can't trust you. You don't care that he can't. You only care what's on a stupid computer. Sounds consistent.
Those pictures might mean almost nothing to him. If you were close to him, that's how you would of reacted to them.
Those pictures might mean he has a bad problem. If you were close to him, you'd get help together.
But you lived with him for those four years.
And you don't know. That's a bigger sin than the porn. Yeah, sin. He might a been struggling with guilt and sliding into addiction while you worried about a wall color. Didn't even talk about what his feelings have been over four years, his challenges, his losses. Might be taking refuge in porn like a springtime gazebo with iced tea. Might just be he can't talk to you. Porn and strip clubs are a guy's way of having human connection. Lousy thing, but it might be that. That would be the worst thing if he just couldn't talk with you and porn kept him from feeling lonely.
Start at a mirror, not at the computer. Look in that mirror. Make a decision that your man is worth the work to get through to him. Then start. Won't happen overnight. Might take four years.
You need to be able to say to that mirror ';My husband did this...'; and I know for sure if it makes a difference to our marriage.
I sense you've got the love to do this. Sorry for the harsh words. But you've got to get started on it.
Common? Probably. My ex-husband did this. Collected LOADS of photos and videos too. Most of his friends did the same thing. Does this make it right or okay? No, especially if the wife is getting hurt by it. This often leads to other behaviors such as strip clubs, phone sex, etc. It did in my ex's case. Granted, he was an absolute pig. Total sexual addiction. You'll notice I said ';ex'; husband above; he ended up sleeping with a stripper. Good luck! :)
I dont belive its right but its not uncommon.
Many men do this and i dont agree with this at all.
I mean, if he saves these photos what is to say that he does not speak to these women online and try to meet up.
Its all great until he gets tired of pictures and wants to meet up with the real thing. This is not right.
I look from time-to-time but I don't save pictures to the drive. I might if the computer was mine exclusively but I prefer browsing the whole store before finding something to buy... if you know what I mean. Tell him it's your computer too and to stop saving pictures to it or get his own computer. He won't stop looking.
Yep, Everyday.
1. If i was getting it as often as I WANTED- no point
2. The female body is the most beautiful thing the God made TO ME
3. Some people like cars,flowers and sunsets. I admire the female body
4. Skinny chicks scare me and obese chicks well - wtf
it's just pleasant to see the curves and think of the soft skin that i'm yearning for for.
Yes, it's common, but wrong!
Any guy who does that is disrespectful to his partner, and it usually leads to much worse things.
If your not enough for him, then you two just aren't right for each other.
We whack it to porn because our sex drives are sometimes ten to thirty times more aggressive than yours.
How many times are you going to reject him before you think he's going to give up and go do something else?
No it is not. Out of respect for the marriage he should not do it.
he shouldn't save the pictures to his computer. Bookmark the page, but dont save the images to the PC.
no no its lust and Do you have God in your heart? if you do
pray for him for his addiction- it becomes just like a drug-
he needs help....
Read him Corinthians 7
Hades No! That is called emotional cheating. If you can't turn him on then no other women should naked or other wise. Pray to your God and ask he or she to remove the spirit away from him.
If my husband did that,he will hear it.I will give him hell till it changes.
It is as normal as breathing and he probably looks at them every day.
Are they of you? If they are, it's fine, if they're not, you have a problem.
Should I get rid of your naked picture Sharni?...I really like it...
I think it is common, but i don't believe it to be morally right
As long as its just porn and nobody he knows.
I hope not!! Thats terrible!!!
no...its not...how good is it to behave a jerk even after getting married?u seem to make it sound normal but its gross
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