How do you feel about not being married but having children?

I do not think marriage guarantees that you will stay together or have a happy life together so do not feel that children should have to wait till after marriage. I think as long as the couple loves one another and wants to build a life together then that is what matters when considering having babies. I am by no means downing on people getting married i am married but i just see so many people judge unmarried couples for having children and feel it is wrong. What do you think?How do you feel about not being married but having children?
I have a child and am not married to her father. I think of it this way....having child, raising a child, and everything that comes along with it is SO challenging to any couple. If we can survive this, we will no doubt survive marriage when the time comes. Just doing things a little backwards.How do you feel about not being married but having children?
I don't think it matters. You're right, marriage does not guarantee stability or even staying together (divorce rate around 50% or higher). If people choose to have a child before getting married that's up to them, yes sometimes the decision will be a bad one but same with married couples. If it's an accident, I definitely don't support shotgun weddings, that's stupid.





I guess in some places in the US there are some legal benefits for a married couple compared to a de facto couple, so in that case it makes more sense. That doesn't apply here in Australia, it's the same.
As long as you're in love, what does it matter? Now, if the father is too much of a coward to claim the child that's his problem, but if he's truly in love with the mother, then he'll love the child. Unmarried couples do have more problems than married couples in some cases, however. There are other means of spending your lives together than by getting married. Anyway, in some U.S. states, if you live together for a certain period of time, you're considered legally married. Plus, even if you aren't married to the other parent, no one has to know it. If you were talking about unmarried teens having children, I would frown upon that, as would most others (no offense to any teen parents, but it's the truth :)





Hope I helped!
I completely agree with you. I'm married, however we had our son before we got married and I wouldn't change it for a second. We got married because we felt it was something we wanted to do, never for the sake of having children. I think that nobody has to live inside the box these days, traditional isn't necessarily for everyone. If people are in a loving, committed relationship than by all means they should have children with or without marriage if they want that.
Marriage doesn't guarantee anything...but neither does a college degree, a job or even a bank account. Everyone of those things can be lost. But would you WANT to go through life without these?





If you really care about your future child, why would you NOT want to give it the best odds in life and give it a mother AND a father who are committed to it and each other?





UPDATE: Interesting...you ask for an opinion, then 'thumbs down' it if it's different from your own.
I feel that if you plan a pregnancy and decide to start a family, that in itself is a huge commitment.


If you cannot commit to marriage, how can you commit to a role that you will play ( that of a parent ) for the rest of your life?


Give your kids a head start, and let them come from a 2 parent home. It will be easier for everyone involved.
I also don't judge since many do give out loving and caring homes. You are right being married doesn't guarantee that you will live ne happily married for eternity. My SIL and my brother have been together for 10 years they are not married and I don't think that they plan to. My mom was married 2 and it ended in divorce. married or not it depend on the 2 people love for one another and how they will care for their kids
I have 3 children and i've never been married, and honestly i'm not with their fathers either...nor am i some slut...or some irresponsible person. I'm happy that i didn't get married to their fathers because it would have ended in a divorce.


I am very happily in a relationship now with a man that i've known since i was 10 years old. He accepts my children as if they were his own.


I don't think that marriage guarantee's anything honestly, unless two people really know each other and are willing to be committed to something that will last a life time. In my own eyes, right now, the only thing missing is a piece of paper from saying i'm married to the one i love....
Well, as a guy, I can't say I know how it is to have children but not be married. I don't have kids and won't put forth the desire to get them. Oh, I'll put it forth! I'll put forth the effort, but ah...I'm keeping that valve shunted, if you know what I';m saying!





But if you're a mother, don't worry! It just tells us guys you have experience in that area! Don't be ashamed, it's a good thing!
I'm fine with not being married and having a child and whatever anyone else does is their business:)





I would like to marry my partner, but I won't do it until it is legal for same-sex couples to marry if they wish. Just my way of supporting marriage for all who want it:)
I have a child and I'm not married. I don't see the need for marriage right now. My boyfriend and I are still going to love each other. A piece of paper and a ring on our fingers isn't going to change how much.
If you're going to commit to a child, you should commit to each other first. My opinion. However, accidentally getting pregnant is not a reason to get married either.
I only got married in January this year, AFTER having two children (5 and 16 months).





A piece of paper and a ring on your finger doesn't guarantee staying together.
I GOT MARRIED AFTER HAVING 2 KIDS BUT GETTING MARRIED AND SIGNING A PAPER DID NOT CHANGE OR IMPROVE OUR RELATIONSHIP IT MAKES NO DIFFERENT AND WE ARE STILL TOGETHER.
As long as the couple loves each other and are financially stable why not? If that's what they really want.
Depends.As long as two people love each other then.