What do you think of someone having a wedding a year after they were actually married?

I have a relative who was married secretly last spring. They got married in order to get the loan to buy their home. Everyone knew they were engaged at the time. By now everyone knows that they are married. They are having a wedding and reception this spring.





It is her second marriage and his first. They are both in their 30s. I think it is silly and selfish to expect relatives to fly in and buy them gifts when they have been married and living together for a year.What do you think of someone having a wedding a year after they were actually married?
They DID have a wedding, when they got married last year. They chose to be secretive and small about it and that was their choice for their wedding. You only get one wedding, sorry. I wouldn't attend a do-over like this. If it was a vow renewal, that'd be slightly different but this is just a scam lol...





Good luck!What do you think of someone having a wedding a year after they were actually married?
I don't think there is anything wrong with having a vow renewal ceremony and reception. People have parties all the time,and that's all a reception really is. When you go to any party the proper etiquette is to bring the host/hostess a gift. If guests don't want to go, then simply don't go. I doubt they are having the wedding and reception simply for the gifts - it costs a lot more money to throw a wedding than you ever get back in gifts, so if they just wanted the gifts it would be much cheaper for them to simply buy themselves what they wanted. They are more likely having the reception to celebrate their marriage with those they love, as they didn't get to do it the first time.





EDIT: I just read the additional information you added. What's it to you if she has a big white wedding dress and bridesmaids? And if she's already been married? Sounds like someone is jealous. If you don't want to pay to fly to wherever the event is taking place, or pay for a gift, it's simple: DON'T. Let the couple enjoy their day. They were being practical when they got married and got a better deal on a mortgage by getting married in a hurry. It's tough to get a mortgage these days, so kudos to them for getting a deal.
I agree. They should have a vow renewal or anniversary party (since they've only been married for a year, a vow renewal seems a bit silly) but not call it an actual wedding and your relative definitely shouldn't wear a wedding dress and veil, have a bridal bouquet, or have bridesmaids. I know it's every girl's dream to have that special fairytale wedding, but unfortunately in her circumstance, it didn't work out that way. I think when you choose to marry secretly, you make that choice for a reason and are aware of what you are giving up. So I completely agree with you that it is silly to have a ';wedding'; at this point in time.
I think it's perfectly acceptable to want a formal wedding. They had to get married for practical reasons and didn't want to rush a ';real'; wedding so they did what they had to do legally. Now, they get to celebrate. We did a similar thing because we had to be married to be stationed together for the military. It's not like they are expecting gifts or guests for two weddings. Think of it as one marriage and one wedding.
I don't agree with it at all. Your wedding and when you get married legally are the same thing. Even the dictionary says so. You get one wedding to the same person and that is it. People can argue otherwise all they want but that doesn't make it correct.





People don't like being lied to either if they plan to tell friends and relatives that their party date is their actual wedding date that they were not legally married prior. People will find out that they were the victims of fraud and are certainly justified if they choose to sever all ties with the bride and groom on those grounds.
';Wedding'; by definition is ';a marriage ceremony usually with its accompanying festivities';. Their marriage ceremony happened earlier, and whatever they will be having won't be a ';wedding';. It would be a vow renewal, or simply a re-enactment of a wedding. Trying to pass a fake ceremony as the real thing is just as ridiculous as saying that cubic zirconia is a ';real diamond';. There's nothing wrong with CZ, but it's different than what a real diamond is.
I think that if they have already received gifts from these relatives or friends for the marriage, then no new gifts should be expected. Just because they didn't have a big blowout when they first got married, doesn't mean they don't deserve to have a special day of their own. I see nothing wrong with them having an actual ceremony to celebrate with family and friends.
I think them expecting extravagant gifts isnt necessary...





But if they want to have the ceremony to solidify their union, who is anyone to judge them. If they are religious and want their marriage to be seen in the eyes of god and not just the law, then it's important to them.





Dont waste so much time worrying about other people's lives, just be happy for people and invest that energy and passion in your life.
I think it's fine if her intentions are pure. If she wants to have a ceremony in order to share her wedding with her family and friends because they are important to her and she wants them to be a part of it then I think it's great.. But if she's doing it to reap the benefit of wedding gifts then that's a diferent story.
I think it is ridiculous. They are already married so why have a wedding. If anything they should have a reception to celebrate, but I wouldn't go out and spend a ton of money on them or anything. Especially since they have already been living together for a year. They probably already have everything they need.
As silly and rediculous as we may see it, it is their lives and they are going to do what they want to. I guess it was important to him to have a wedding. Right now in this case I would see it as being a waste of money, but if that is what they want no one is going to stop them. I guess you could choose not to attend if it is going to be out of your way and a financial issue trying to travel to their wedding location. That is pretty crazy though.
I'm with you. it's trolling for gifts. no one I know has ever done that but I see it a lot on here. totally tacky. if you can't plan a big wedding and have all your closest friends and family with you when you take your vows, then that's it, that's your one shot. you don't get to celebrate it again, that's why it's called an anniversary every year and not a do-over wedding.
It depends. Did they already have a sort of reception (and did people send their congratulations)?





If yes, then they're being greedy (note I said congratulations and not presents. The wedding and reception could be an excuse to try to get the presents that they didn't get before).





If no, they want to celebrate.
It will be two years on Valentines day that I have been married. I got married in city hall because we put our money toward a house when I found out I was pregnant but I still want my wedding and I will be renewing my vows on my 5th anniversary and who ever thinks it is stupid does not have to rsvp. So in this case it is the same thing if the family or friends wish not to attend because it is dumb in their eyes well don't attend but I see nothing wrong with them renewing their vows.
Ok your the one being selfish, the reason their having this wedding is because they never got to have the wedding they always dreamed of! You don't have to buy them a gift but if you don't your kinda being rude. They never got to have an actual wedding! They probably didn't get the wedding they wanted. If they got married in a courthouse they probably wanted an actal wedding not some fake one.
The bride and groom can do whatever they want. they can invite anyone they want to and spend as much as they want.





the real question is? If you are invited, should you go? If you don't want to attend reply no, if you think it is something you would like to attend then go. Believe me, they can invite the entire country, it doesn't mean anyone will show up and that is the true test.
I think its fine if they had a few problems and couldnt have the wedding then.(maybe they couldnt afford it) They are still married and deserve to have a reception it they want to. there is no law saying when you have to have the ceramony.
I personally think it is a great idea because they want thier families to be able to share the moment with them. They did not get to have a nice wedding and gifts last time. And they deserve that special moment, and memories.
I don't like that at all. Either do it upon getting married or not at all - it looks greedy.





If they invited me to the reception, I would decline and I would not send a gift either!
This seems very selfish to be, but you can make your own decision as to whether or not to attend.
Its greed and selfishness, plain and simple.





They are looking to have a fake wedding reception in the hopes that they will get gifts.
I don't think its a bad idea. I was thinking about doing the same thing at one point. They are just finally getting the chance to celebrate their marriage.
It's a new world folks!!


There are not many ';traditional';


wedding situations out there anymore!


Let them have their spot light


either go or not it's your choice!
Nothing wrong with it.. They want to celebrate with their loving relatives. Guess that doesn't include you...
I would have thought this was a really stupid %26amp; selfish idea until I found myself %26amp; my fiance in a bind and running off to do the legal wedding about a year and a half before our planned wedding.





I really think it is all about how it is handled and what the couple's intentions are when they do this sort of thing.





We got engaged December 2007, set a date of 10/31/09, then my fiance lost his medical insurance (and he needed it) in April 2008.


We wanted a church wedding with all our family around us but there was no way to pull it off if we moved up the wedding date. I consulted with some of my family members and they all felt it was totally appropriate to get married legally and continue on with our plans for the church ceremony %26amp; family reception.





We didn't celebrate the legal wedding. We didn't put out formal announcements about it. We told people what we were doing %26amp; they were supportive of our reasons and said they will be with us for the church %26amp; family wedding as it had been originally planned.





I don't care if people feel I already got married and just want the party - they don't know me or my motivations. What I DO want is my family %26amp; close friends to be there to see me take my vows. If we didn't get medical insurance for my fiance through my employer, there wouldn't have been a wedding because it is so expensive to pay for individual insurance policies. And I think the key is that we told our family why and they were all supportive %26amp; approving of our choice.





I think if they had been negative about it we would have opted to have immediate family only at our wedding and scrapped the plans we have made.